After my wife Sheila and I retired from our respective careers some years ago, we realized we may be married for better or worse but not necessarily for lunch. So I was more than intrigued when Vashon visionary Dorothy Bauer conceived the innovative concept of Take a Senior to Lunch Day. Thanks to Dorothy, the 28th of each month is now officially Take a Senior to Lunch Day on Vashon Island.

Who says there’s no such thing as a free lunch? Dorothy’s compassionate and ingenious concept uses the invitation of a free lunch to lure seniors out of the house and into the community. Like the Affordable Care Act, the success of Dorothy’s plan requires participation by younger, healthier and more ambulatory Vashonites willing to pay higher premiums — in this case, pick up the lunch tab for an old timer like me.

Generosity is, of course, its own reward, but as an added incentive, the monthly event offers a 10 percent discount if a junior takes a senior to lunch at participating Vashon establishments: Cafe Luna, Green Ginger, The Hardware Store Restaurant, Zombiez, Pure, Subway and Saucy Sisters Pizzeria.

Overlooking the fact that a few of us old folks may have the prickly personalities of a cornered cougar, Dorothy’s lunch out inspired my participation. While not yet housebound or alone, I am nine years shy of 90, which makes me 81 (if you are numerically challenged). Clearly, my age would qualify for Dorothy’s lunch program even if the AARP keeps reminding us that 80 is the new 70 and 70 is the new 60 and so on. I’m waiting for the AARP to categorize the after-life as the new assisted living.

When Take a Senior to Lunch Day was first launched, I expectantly waited at home for a young islander with a credit card to call me. Since I’m host of a popular Voice of Vashon radio talk show — The Brown Briefly — where “less is more, more or less,” and a scintillating conversationalist capable of crafting a bon mot between bites, I assumed I was on everyone’s senior lunch short list. I even envisioned a stand-by list in the unlikely event of a cancellation and entertained the notion of auditions for eager applicants. Paying for the lunch doesn’t entitle the buyer to be a bore.

In addition to my aforementioned attributes, I have a mouth full of dental implants, which enables me to munch through lunch on something more challenging than tofu. Thanks to Costco’s audiology department, I have digitally enhanced hearing, so you won’t have to shout or repeat yourself at lunch, although Sheila claims I am prone to “mansplaining” when conversing with females. That being said, I own a car and my kids haven’t taken the keys away from me yet, which means I can still drive at night, should our lingering lunch drift into the dinner hour.

Not wanting to appear too eager, should the phone ring, I even prepared an evasive, if not, coquettish, response to an anticipated call. Picking up the phone (on the third ring) I repeat the invitation, in a subdued vice, “lunch … that might work, let me check my calendar…” After keeping my younger caller in a state of breathless expectation, I would continue the conversation by conceding that I was pleasantly surprised to see — wonder of wonders — that I was available on the 28th. “That would do quite well, thank you.”

Alas, my passive, wait-at-home-strategy, resulted in zero responses; I mean nada. What to do? In frustration, I referenced my library of self-help books gathering dust on a shelf just within my arthritic reach. ESTABLISH YOUR GOAL wrote the personal advice guru, Tony Robbins, who emphasizes key points in large type, which inspires me to think and write in capital letters. My goal is LUNCH, or more precisely, a FREE LUNCH. What I’ve learned in life is that a lunch someone buys you tastes infinitely better than one you pay for yourself. More wisdom to follow.

“HOW DO YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL?” asks Tony. Clearly, I won’t achieve lunch by waiting at home for the phone to ring. Tony cuts to the chase. Be “PROACTIVE,” he advises. In the past, I found that approach to be personally problematic. Like Jeb Bush, whom candidate Trump once described as “low energy,” PROACTIVE hasn’t always worked for me, any more than it worked for Jeb in the presidential debates. What to do? Answer: GO WITH MY GURU. Stay on message. GET PROACTIVE. Next consideration: How do you attract the attention of a prospective lunch date? At long last, I’m in my comfort zone. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank the stars above for my God-given ability to accessorize.

At Granny’s I found a baseball cap emblazoned with SENIOR CITIZEN on the front, and room enough for me to stencil in my birth name. In retail, we call this personalizing the brand. Ivanka would understand. Come to think of it, Granny’s might be a great place for the President’s daughter to unload her Nordstrom line, at a greatly reduced price, of course. Yet again, I digress. I purchased an extra-large white T-shirt, which was, miraculously, without lettering or logo, affording me ample room to employ my calligraphy skills. So here’s how it reads: SENIOR CITIZEN BRIAN LOOKING FOR LUNCH DATE. 10% DISCOUNT.

With costume customized, the focus is now on marketing. I made a demographic sweep of the list of participating restaurants and decided my best chance for a lunch pickup was at The Hardware Store Restaurant. This centrally located establishment at Vashon’s four corners attracts both a local and transient clientele, not to mention Canadian tourists who visit from British Columbia.

At high noon on the 28th, I strolled into the restaurant with a self-assertive swagger. Think of Butch and Sundance approaching a bank. There was no hesitation as I secured a high-visibility position at the bar with my baseball cap turned backwards so an approaching customer can read what Tony calls my unambiguous MISSION STATEMENT which ran from cap to butt.

Positioned on my bar stool, I ordered a very dry martini which would be put on the tab of my soon to arrive benefactor. A half hour passed by with new arrivals showing no interest in me. Wouldn’t you think someone would at least stop to read my shirt? I tried not to appear anxious. What did Nixon say after his first debate with Kennedy: “don’t let them see you sweat?” Experience is something you get just after you need it.

Forty five minutes later, I thought about another martini but clearly lunch was not happening. Tony Robbins devoted a full chapter to EXIT STRATEGY. I ordered a bowl of clam chowder. “Looks good,” said a gray haired woman of an uncertain age, who slid into the bar stool next to me. “I’ll have the same,” she said. “Chowder or martini,” asked the bar tender? “Both,” said Vera, who introduced herself after placing her order.

She admired my outfit and I complemented her on her pussy hat (Sheila and I had been on the Women’s March). Vera also had a pin in the shape of a heart which read: TAKE A SENIOR TO LUNCH. I was not alone. Like me, she went on the prowl when no one called. “Where were you, before you came here,” I asked? “Zombiez and Café Luna,” she said. “Any bites,” I asked? “A couple of nibbles,” she replied. “Guy wanted to know if I was vegan.”

“What did you tell him,” I asked?

“Only if I’m desperate,” she replied. “I knew the lunch would come with a lecture, so I bagged it.”

Vera sipped her martini while waiting for her chowder. “Hey,” she said, “if you bought my lunch, you could get 10 percent off and if I bought your lunch, I would get 10 percent off.” I was intrigued but that raised a question. Could a senior take a senior to lunch and vice versa? I mean, do you need a junior to initiate the transaction to get the discount? “It’s like taking a selfie,” said Vera. We both decided we should check with Dorothy before we took the event to a new level. Could group discounts be far behind?

“See you on the 28th,” said Vera before we parted. “Where will you be trolling,” I asked? That’s code we seniors use when working the free lunch circuit on Vashon. “I thought I’d try Sporty and the Red Bike,“ said Vera, oblivious to the fact that those two establishments were not yet participating. Clearly, she likes a challenge.

“If neither of us gets picked up, let’s meet back here for a martini and chowder,” I suggested. “You’re on,” said Vera.

— Brian Brown is a former journalist and host of Voice of Vashon’s “The Brown Briefly” on Tuesday mornings.