Organizers of the island discussion group “Let’s Talk about Living and Dying” will be joined by members of the Threshold Choir for a first-of-its-kind event at 1 to 2:30 p.m. Sunday at the Land Trust Building.
The meeting is a joint program of Vashon Honoring Choices and the Vashon Conversation for the Living about Dying; it was formerly known as the Death Cafe. As in the past, it will include facilitated, small group discussions about life, death and everything in between, which founding member Susan Pitiger said occur in a respectful environment that is open to all.
“There are many people who come who are facing their deaths. We’re all facing our deaths,” she said, with a knowing laugh. “But for some, it’s more imminent, and there are some people [who have attended] who have passed on.”
New this time will be the Vashon Threshold Choir, which has sung both original and well-known songs at the bedsides of ailing and dying islanders since 2005.
After introductions and snacks, said Pitiger, those in attendance will break off into tables of six and be joined by a choir member for the duration of the afternoon.
“That’s the part that I’m looking forward to,” she said. “The experience of the Threshold Choir and the singers, and what they’ve come away with during their experiences, because they’ve had many. That will be very rich for our tables to hear, what they share with them.”
Barb Adams, co-leader of the choir, said that collaboration with the discussion group seemed like a good fit. They will perform a selection of songs at the event on Sunday chosen from their repertoire, similar to the experience of joining the choir for what they call a monthly community sound bath, which is meant for everyone.
“What we intend to do is to sing two to three songs that are pretty common or usual for us to sing at the bedside,” she said, “really soothing, quiet songs, and then just talk about our experiences of being at the end of life service.”
The community sound bath events are held from 6:45 to 7:30 p.m. on the fourth Friday of every month at the Vashon Cohousing Common House, 10421 SW Bank Road.
Not every story that members of the choir may share at the event on Sunday, she added, will be about making islanders comfortable before they take their last breath — some are about building a relationship with that person, and their family.
“Right now we have two hospice patients that we see once a week,” she said, noting that both of them live in private home and have spouses who are acting as their primary caregivers. “It really becomes a relationship with that couple, and they are absolutely loving the consistency of us coming back once a week. It’s something that they can count on; it’s worked well.”
Adams said she believes the roundtable discussions on Sunday will translate well to mutual understandings of death, but greater than that, will help to create a more complete portrait of end-of-life care.
“It’s such a vulnerable time for people to open their homes, so it’s a great honor to be there at that time. But what we’re finding is it’s a help to provide kind of a bubble — soothing, relaxing not having to worry about anything,” she said. “To just kind of float. That’s been helpful for people.”
More information about the Threshold Choir is available online at bit.ly/2FMWOV4.
