Coffee with conservatives
Published 3:45 pm Tuesday, September 23, 2025
On April 24, in this space, my commentary “Polarization and Lawn Chairs” addressed the divide that separates Americans, as I wrote of my desire “to meet and honor the humanity of people with whom I disagree.”
Fast forward to Sept. 9, when The Beachcomber reported that 40 islanders had gathered to honor Charlie Kirk. A quote from one of those attending caught my eye, “We ask — to have open dialogue.”
In the words of an old hymn, “You got to move when the Spirit says move.” Within minutes, I began to reach out to those who had gathered. The next day, one of them invited me to join them for coffee. Two days after that, a small group of us met to start a conversation. What follows is my best, and probably flawed attempt to report on our two hours together.
Before the vigil, the group seemed to have met exclusively online. Sitting together in person (for the first time?), I felt how deeply Kirk’s death grieved them and witnessed the group’s support for one another.
They described social media as a two-edged sword, often filled with stereotyped assumptions, hostility, and “copy and paste arguments” delivered with little thought. The group said they experience virtual Vashon as “87% liberal,” mostly scornful and intolerant of conservative views. Several said they’re afraid to speak freely on island and all seemed to feel that their own views are seldom heard or taken seriously by liberals.
My hosts described themselves as conservatives, with at least one adding “libertarian.”
When asked, I said I am an independent and lean left somewhere between progressive and libertarian. Nearly all of the group identified as Christian (as did I), and all affirmed faith as the basis for how they think and live. They named a few of their concerns (taxes, mandatory vaccinations, sexuality), but we never stayed with any one topic. A woman was curious if one issue is of particular concern to me (beyond America’s polarization). I responded, “the earth” and heard someone murmur in agreement.
All at our meeting seemed to want and welcome respectful dialogue with non-conservatives. We agreed that doing so face to face is vital. The group expressed deep appreciation for my having joined them and that they want to do so again. One of them, Matt Matthews, told me of his plans to be at the Vashon Island Coffee Roasterie that Wednesday (after press time for this commentary), if anyone wants to join him.
I want to encourage islanders to sit with, listen to, and learn from someone whose politics differ from your own. Sure, the prospect might seem scary. There could be uncomfortable moments. At times, the effort might even feel futile. My strategy was and is: stay open, hang in there, and trust (myself, the other person, Spirit, the universe…). With the power of respect and love, we all can help in building the bridges our country needs.
Tom Craighead is a retired Episcopal priest and hospice chaplain, and a Vashon resident.
