Parents hope to make changes for Vashon’s Millennials

Published 12:35 pm Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Following the death of their son Rj Ontiveros, Judith Neary and Ramon Ontiveros have launched a nonprofit and are reaching out to islanders in their teens and 20s to learn what they believe would make Vashon a better place for them.

In the days immediately following Rj’s death from suicide last month, Neary said she and her husband spent time with his friends and extended family, and ideas sprang from those conversations: building a community house or center where teens and young adults can gather, offering classes in mind-body body balance and nutrition — simple things that they can use to manage stress — and possibly following a dream of Rj’s by growing mushrooms for medicinal and ecological purposes.

Neary said she has only an outline of what might come to be and will rely on island Millenials to create the rest.

“We will find out what they want, and we will build what they need,” she said.

While the loss of her son, who was just 25, is fueling this action, Neary said that his death was the tipping point in a difficult two years on the island, which has seen far too many suicides.

“We need to just stop this,” she said. “This is insane. We are losing so many kids, not just kids, but young, vibrant adults.”

In conversations with some of Rj’s friends, she said, some consistent themes have emerged about being a teen or young adult on Vashon.

“The feedback from those kids is they have nowhere to go,” Neary said.

There is no safe, central place that is easy to get to, where they can create their own community, she added. She noted that millions of dollars have been raised to create a new arts center, yet there is not even a simple place for island youth.

This is one of the problems she hopes to address and has scheduled a series of meetings beginning next week, inviting teenagers and “20 somethings” to Ober Park to brainstorm on a range of issues that the newly formed nonprofit Rj’s Kids might be able to take on. Older adults are welcome too, she said, but “it’s the Millenials who get to talk.”

As news of the plans has spread, many islanders have said they would like to donate because of their own concerns about island youth and young adults, especially after the tragedies in recent years, Neary said.

With the assistance of islander Chris Hunt, Rj’s Kids has been registered as a nonprofit, and donations are welcome. Neary, an interior designer, already has seed money, she noted, including $5,000 the appliance company Jenn-Air provided for this cause.

“I am committed to it. I am going to resource every connection I have in my industry. I am going to make it happen,” she said. “My husband and I lost our only son, and we are going to save somebody else. I am going to kick the ass out of the island and fix this.”

Rj’s Kids
Brainstorming meetings are set for 7 to 9 p.m. Thursdays, Nov. 20, Dec. 4 and Dec. 18, at the Ober Park performance room. All islanders in their teens and 20s are invited to attend. For more information, see the Facebook page for Rj’s Kids.org and www.rjs-kids.org.