Kevin Kent has a sweet and savory talk with Dina Martina

She describes herself as an old-time hoofer with a ballpark figure.

Islanders said, “More, please,” after Dina Martina’s debut island show, “Dina Martina: Sub-Standards,” on Saturday, April 6, at Vashon Center for the Arts (VCA) sold out almost immediately. Obligingly, VCA has added a second show, at 7:30 p.m. Friday, April 5.

Dina Martina has packed venues throughout the U.S., Canada, and the U.K. and has received The Stranger Genius Award for Theater, two Seattle Times Footlight Awards, a nomination for The Alpert Award for Theater, and two nominations for GLAAD Media Awards for Outstanding Off-Off Broadway Show.

With a fanbase that includes Eric Idle, Whoopi Goldberg, John Waters, and Bette Midler, Martina has performed in storied venues across the U.S., from The Mark Twain House to The Metropolitan Museum of Art to Seattle’s On The Boards and ACT Theatre, where she performs her much beloved Christmas show annually.

Like all of Martina’s shows, “Sub-Standards” promises to be “a truly wondrous and surreal blend of questionable song, unnecessary dance, overburdened costumes, and side-splitting video,” said VCA.

Kevin Kent — a former island resident currently performing at Teatro Zinzanni, sat down to interview Dina Martina recently, offering a peek into her beauty regime, life, and psyche.

His interview follows.

Miss Martina, we would like to get to know the woman behind the myth. I know you are always on the go, how many shows do you perform per year?

About 786 shows a year. I count them in dog years because it makes my work ethic sound really amazing.

What is your preferred mode of travel between engagements?

Glad you asked! I absolutely love carpooling to shows, though lately, I’ve been trying to get more exercise, so quite often I’ll just cartwheel from venue to venue. Unfortunately with all the precipitation in your moist region that’s not always an option, so sometimes I’ll just strap on a pair of drywall stilts to keep my feet dry. But sometimes a caravan of PT Cruisers is quite chic, too.

With all the travel what is your trick to stay so vibrant and fresh?

Well first off, thank you so much, there are a few different ways I pamper my complexion.

The main thing I do is treat myself to a peanut butter facial mask every night, and those are really neat and easy and super-affordable. The first thing you want to do is, right before bedtime, enlarge about 10 – 20 pores all around your face to the size of a dime, for maximum benefits and absorption.

Then you want to spread a thick layer of your favorite peanut butter everywhere from the neck up, using light, upward sweeps. Creamy peanut butter is soothing, but crunchy is best for exfoliation. Then you’re free to read a pamphlet, make a God’s eye craft thing, or just retire for the evening. In the morning, simply wipe off the peanut butter with an English muffin, which you can then pop in the toaster and enjoy along with a Carnation Instant Breakfast for a complete breakfast.

As a woman on the go, how do you balance being an icon and keeping a home?

Oh, I don’t. The bank foreclosed on my home in December.

Any cleaning tips or tricks one should utilize?

Well, my friend Doreen taught me that Hollandaise and ammonia is such a dynamic duo cleaning solution because the greasy build-up doesn’t know what’s coming. It sees the Hollandaise and it’s all like, “Hey Saucy, come on in – the more, the merrier!” But THEN comes the ammonia and it’s like, LOOK OUT! But by then, of course it’s too late.

Please describe Dina Martina in 16 words or less.

Old-time hoofer with a ballpark figure. Thankful the shingles virus is already inside of me.

Do you have a favorite recipe when guests are in for dinner?

Yes, I have a really delicious recipe for one-hour turkey that is soooo simple! I know, I know, you’re thinking: “What?! ONE-HOUR TURKEY?!” You heard me right, one-hour turkey is real. But you have to really like your turkey on the rare side. I also have a fantastic recipe for a dish that my mother used to make, and it’s very simple and so, so, so yummy. It’s just raisins, butter and Crisco, mixed up in a bowl. You can’t share it enough!

Indoor dining or al fresco?

I prefer dining al dente and/or au naturel.

Please, can you assign a flavor to your show?

Piquant, yet insouciant, with an oaky finish. Notes of blueberry, in concert with an undertow of day-old venison — so there’s definitely a sweet and savory element to it. And I want to say it’s buttery, but I actually think “margariney” is more apropos.

Find out more and get tickets to “Dina Martina: Sub-Standards,” at