An island widower made history this fall when he was awarded military benefits following the death of his husband, a decorated Vietnam veteran.

Joe Krumbach is the first known gay person in Washington to have his marriage retroactively recognized by the state and the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) and receive survivor benefits because of it.

The awarding of the benefits — provided to survivors of military members who die on duty or are disabled for service-related reasons — came after a two-year fight that included legal assistance and help from Sen. Patty Murray’s office, all while the laws governing gay marriage changed in Washington and across the country.

David Ward, of the Seattle law firm Legal Voice, helped Krumbach with his most recent appeal, and earlier this week spoke to Krumbach’s tenacity and the progress that has been made regarding marriage equality.

“He was a squeaky wheel, and he was persistent. He made a point of doing this for himself and for others,” Ward said. “His story illustrates the kind of injustice that same-sex couples had to live with for years but no longer have to live with.”

Krumbach and Jerry Hatcher were together for 19 years and married for five of those, until Hatcher’s death from liver cancer in 2008. Following his death, as states began legalizing gay marriage, the door opened for Krumbach to request, fight for and ultimately receive the benefits, which provide everything from health care to permission to shop at any military post exchange (PX), as well as a monthly financial stipend. Krumbach, however, made clear his fight was never about money, but about principle.

“What is right is right, and what is wrong is wrong, and this was wrong,” he said about same-sex spouses previously being ineligible to receive the benefits.

In a conversation at Café Luna last week, he talked about his life with Hatcher and his effort to be fully recognized as Hatcher’s husband in the eyes of the military.

The two men met in 1989 at a cafe in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood when Krumbach was 23,  fresh out of school and celebrating a new job at a Japanese pharmaceutical company. A patron would not leave him alone, he said, and Hatcher came to the rescue. Hatcher called the next day and invited Krumbach on a date.

“We went out and were together ever since,” he said. “He was the kindest person I ever met.”

As Krumbach tells it, what followed were 18 wonderful years — and one difficult year, when Hatcher was ill.

Hatcher had owned Dante’s, a University District bar and restaurant, then went on to follow his passion for art and became a high-end painter of home interiors. Krumbach spent more than two decades working in the mortgage industry. The men had blessed lives, Krumbach said, and believed that with success came responsibility. They volunteered frequently with AIDS-related causes and at a women’s shelter in Seattle’s Pioneer Square. They traveled extensively, with Krumbach’s photos showing them in Santa hats, decked out for their Christmas cards and riding on an elephant, posing in front of Michelangelo’s David and enjoying numerous far-flung places together.

After Hatcher proposed on Christmas Eve of 2002 in the Hunt Club of the Sorrento Hotel — standing on his chair and announcing his intentions — they held an elaborate wedding in front of more than 200 friends and family members at Salty’s restaurant in West Seattle. Four years later, on a trip to Paris, Hatcher became ill, and their difficult year together began. Krumbach took six months off to care for him, upholding their vows.

“When you get married, you say for better or for worse,” he said, noting the stress of that time.

Hatcher died at home, one day after their fifth anniversary.

Gay marriage was not legal when the two men exchanged their vows, and so their wedding was only symbolic, not a legal marriage, Krumbach said. That difference would come to matter a great deal as Krumbach fought to obtain the benefits he felt he was owed as a surviving spouse of a veteran who had gone to war, fought for his country — receiving two Purple Hearts, two Bronze Stars and the Army Commendation for Valor — and then was deemed disabled by the post-traumatic stress disorder that followed.

In 2013, five years after Hatcher’s death, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned part of the Defense of Marriage Act, ruling that its definition of marriage as a union between one man and one woman was unconstitutional. Shortly after that decision, former Attorney General Eric Holder announced he would not  enforce a law that blocked benefits to partners of military veterans in same-sex marriages.

Krumbach took notice.

“I read that and said, ‘Here is my opportunity,’” he recalled, saying he knew whatever would come next would be a challenge.

He filled out the necessary forms and walked them into the region’s VA office in Seattle. To bolster his case as Hatcher’s husband, he included affidavits from 40 people who had attended the wedding and a marriage certificate signed by two witnesses and the rabbi that married them. The VA rejected his application, however, saying same-sex marriage had not been legal at the time of Hatcher’s death, so they could  not be considered  legally married.

In 2014, the VA turned  him down again, but extended his appeal window into this past summer, Krumbach said.

In June, the Supreme Court issued its landmark decision, legalizing gay marriage across the country; Krumbach took action again.

“I said to myself, one more time I am going to throw in the hat,” he said.

In search of a nonprofit law firm focused on social service, he turned to Legal Voice, where Krumbach met with Ward, who helped spearhead the final appeal effort, including persuading Washington’s Department of Health to change Hatcher’s death certificate from “registered domestic partner” to “married.”

That change was instrumental, Krumbach said, and came on the very last day his appeal was due: Aug. 4 of this year.

In Washington, D.C., one of Sen. Murray’s staff members helped shepherd the request through the VA. One month later, as Krumbach was getting off the bus in downtown Seattle, he received an email from Murray’s office: His appeal had been approved.

“I almost burst into tears,” he said, recalling that September day.

Now two months later, Krumbach said the news is still settling in, and in part he credited his mother and father for his ability to see the long process through.

“I am very fortunate I was given the gift of tenacity and the unwavering belief in social justice,” he said.

Hatcher, he added, would be proud of him.

“It is just one more thing you do to make life better for someone else,” he said. “If it helps one person living on cans of soup or having a hard time paying their bills or meeting their needs or they get the health care they need, then I won,” he said.

Krumbach said he is not sure what will happen now for others, adding the struggle is not over for everyone. He encourages married partners of veterans to apply for benefits and then contact elected officials and fight for the benefits if they are denied.

At Legal Voice, Ward agreed, noting  that the VA is not going to hunt down people to give benefits to them.

“I would say always apply for benefits if you believe you have a marriage that should be recognized,” he said. “I would say also to consult with a lawyer.”

Like Krumbach, Ward said he was overjoyed when he heard the news.

“I knew we were right morally, but I also believed we were right legally. It was good to get that validation,” he said.

Krumbach noted that he wants his story to get out as broadly and deeply as possible, so others in his situation will know what is possible. He has been in the news, including a recent feature on King 5, but he stresses the story is not about him.

“Rosa Parks was big,” he said. “ I am just a character on Vashon Island that fought back and won.”