By Stephen Bogan

For The Beachcomber

We have heard a lot about the latest Healthy Youth Survey results showing that alcohol and other drug use is up in the high school — and way above state averages.

The survey also showed that on Vashon, a little more than 10 percent of 10th-grade students report that “adults in their neighborhood (which includes parents) think that alcohol and other drug use by youth is very wrong.” For sixth-graders, almost 80 percent reported that adults think youth drinking is “very wrong.”

So between eighth grade and 10th grade, our youth report that adults drastically change their attitudes about youth drinking and drug use. This begs the question: Is this accurate? Do our concerns about substance abuse really change as the youths in our lives grow older, or are we not communicating to our youth the concerns we really feel? Is there a connection between higher rates of use and kids’ perceptions that the adults in their lives aren’t as worried about it?

One could easily draw this conclusion. We know from research that one of the single most effective prevention tools that parents have with their teens is the strength of their convictions about what they expect from their children. If we don’t communicate what we really feel and what our fears are, then youth are left to interpret a message, and often that message is that it is OK to use alcohol and other drugs. Saying nothing can translate into “it’s OK.”

A recent study shows that what parents do in front of their children is also critical to rates of substance use and abuse. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA), in a 2009 study, reports that teens who have seen their parents drunk — compared to those teens who haven’t — are more than twice as likely to get drunk in a typical month and three times likelier to use marijuana. The role of fathers is also critical, according to the study: Teens who believe their father is OK with their drinking — compared to those who think their father is against it — are two and a half times likelier to get drunk in a typical month.

A teen’s behavior is “strongly associated” with his or her parents’ behavior and expectations, “so parents who expect their children to drink and use drugs will have children who drink and use drugs,” the report adds. And, it goes on, “teens whose parents believe the decision to use marijuana is not a big deal are almost twice as likely to use the drug.”

What are the reasons that parents may not communicate their expectations about what is acceptable for their children? For some, it may be lack of credible information about the risks. Others may want to trust their teens and believe “my kid” will never use. Some may be too afraid to have the conversation.

I believe that most parents, given the choice, would choose to have their kids not use alcohol and other drugs until they were much older and could make better decisions about the risks. But many parents value their relationship with their teens and fear they will negatively affect the relationship by stating their strong opinions and concerns. Parents need support to express what they truly feel — that they want their kids to be safe and independent. Parents are the key, and they have power and influence to make a difference.

— Stephen Bogan is a mental health and addiction counselor.

Join in a conversation with other parents facilitated by Stephen Bogan, mental health and addiction counselor, at 7 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 15, in the Vashon High School library. The critical transition from middle to high school will be the focus. Information from the most recent Healthy Youth Survey will be presented.